Rough Draft: Scene One Script!

"MAIN CHARACTER: I never really understood what it was about him that entranced me from the start. Whenever people would ask, I always pinned it on how charismatic he was; how he could light up a room with a joke. He was fun-loving and care-free, and that was good enough for me.

Looking back now, I know the real answer: I was desperate for attention, enough to disregard flags so red they would attract every bull in a fifty mile radius. Of course, I would never admit that to anyone. Not in a million years.

I know, I know: I’m kind of to blame here. But, to be fair, most naive teenagers just get their heart broken and move on after a week. I, on the other hand, got dragged through rusty nail infested mud for most of my highschool career.

When we first started talking, I felt a connection I had never felt before. Someone who truly cared about me, enough to tell me like it is. No more dancing around the truth, selling lies. I had my insecurities, and he confirmed them. As it should be. 

Or so I thought.

The first time I noticed something was off was very early on, actually. 

You see, I poured my heart and soul out in a lovely little poem. It was quite nice. And what did he do? Well… [cut to scene 2]"

That was the draft of my script! I actually do not like it at all, besides the beginning. I am planning on asking for a lot of feedback from everyone around me as I develop the script more, as I feel the tone of the script is not consistent. Is the main character trying to be funny? Sarcastic? Serious? Honestly, your guess is as good as mine. Hopefully as I ask for people's opinions, they tell me what they like and don't like so I can improve.