So Premiere is Slaying the Game...

It's time: I've finally begun editing my project. Surprisingly, it's a lot like IMovie, and I'm not having that many issues. It's a lot more tedious than IMovie though (for example, one wrong move and your entire clip is gone for good) but hopefully it all becomes worth it in the end when the quality is better.

When I first started editing, it was really overwhelming, because for some reason, the program opened on Effect Controls and I was like "What have I gotten myself into?!" Once I realized my mistake, though, it became pretty easy and I calmed down.

Through the guided introduction and the help of my best friend, I learned what each tool does. For the most part, though, I'm only using the "Unlink" tool and the "Cut" tool. Super advanced, I know, save your applause.

The Cut Tool, My Beloved

On the bright side, I found a good royalty free to use sound: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkH-BANXXKU, for the party music. Thank God for random Youtubers uploading their creative works for no charge.

As for my other foley and background sounds (for example, the clicking included in my introduction), these are my own. 

I've started playing with the colors of the film, as you can see below. 

I am a little disappointed because the red is turning out to be more of a strange looking orange color, and it's not really giving the effect that I want. I'll play with it more and see how it turns out. 

Playing with all of the sound effects has been my favorite part so far. Rewatching my friends act and having to cut out our laughter in each clip is a good motivation for this project, if I'm being honest. It keeps the morale high to add random alien affect filters over their voices every once in a while and then immediately removing it.

For the font that I'm going to use for my film, I decided to look at coming of age fonts online. 

Right now, I'm leaning toward a bolder font (such as Interstate or Netflix Sans) to better fit in with the seriousness of the film, instead of a more flowy font, such as Daft Brush. I've read so many of the word "Sample" that it doesn't even feel real anymore.

For my credits, I am going to include:

- My production logo

- Directed and Edited by: Alex Briggs

- Starring Santi Mason as Ethan Neelu

- And Nat Kalina as Celia Rose

At the end of my film, when the door slams shut, this will be when the title "False Indignation" appears.

References: 

https://fontsinuse.com/tags/8635/coming-of-age

My Very (Very) Long CCR Script!

Interviewer: Thank you for coming in!

Me: Thank you for having me.

Interviewer: So, why don’t you tell us a little about False Indignation? What conventions did you want to challenge and what social issues did you want to tackle?

Me: Well, my film is a coming of age movie, depicting the topic of toxic friendship in high school. From my research, according to The Princeton Buffer, I found that coming of age movies are directed toward all genders, typically from ages 12-18, falling in the current Gen Z age range. The most important characteristic of this genre is personal growth and change, which relies on dialogue and emotional responses, rather than action. I chose to stick with this convention, which is why my opening is an emotional exchange between my two main characters. Their most negative traits (Ethan not sticking up for himself and Celia being a bully) are clearly on display from the beginning, as portrayed via body language and dialogue. This was to set up for their journey of betterment that lasts throughout the film. Actually, even before I started the planning for this film, I knew I wanted to portray a toxic friendship instead of a toxic relationship, as this topic of conversation is often overlooked in favor of romance. I also knew that I wanted the two characters to be of opposite genders, with the girl actually being the aggressor in the situation. In many, many coming of age films, the main characters are usually romantic interests if they are of opposite genders. In my experience, especially in the newer generation of Gen Z, friendships are much more intermixed, and I wanted for these younger teens to be able to relate. Challenging gender roles by swapping expected personalities for the characters is something I wanted to achieve as well. Additionally, my characters are both minorities, with Celia being Latina, and Ethan being African American, Indigenous, and Hispanic. Oftentimes, especially in coming of age movies, these groups of individuals are overlooked or made to fit stereotypical ideologies, and I wanted to make a film that veered from that. 

Interviewer: Hm, you said that your target audience is younger teens. How did you ensure that your film would reach them, and that they would enjoy it?

Me: Well, the target audience of my film is Gen Z, specifically teenagers of all genders that struggle with mental health issues. According to APA.org, more than 9 in 10 Gen Z adults (91 percent) said they have experienced at least one physical or emotional symptom because of stress, such as feeling depressed or sad or lacking interest, motivation or energy. In one study, Gen Z was 1.4 to 2.3 times more likely to report that they had been diagnosed with a mental-health condition than both Gen Xers and baby boomers.You see, Ethan is a character that struggles with the stress of social anxiety, depression, and bullying. He tends to just take abuse, even from people close to him. I knew that he would be a very relatable character to many Gen Z; someone that is shy and likes to play computer games by himself. He is awkward and, honestly, a total loser - and that’s okay! I wanted the younger generation, especially those that deal with similar issues, to learn throughout the movie that they can be much happier if they learn to value themselves, and that being a loser is a rite of passage into adulthood. Oh, sorry, I got really distracted; I am passionate about this subject.

Interviewer: It’s okay, this is an interview after all. 

Me: Haha, thank you. Anyway, in terms of keeping my audience engaged, I know that Gen Z struggles a Lot with focusing. All of our attention spans are like, literally nonexistent, and unless things are filled with drama and are visually appealing, Gen Z loses interest very fast. Because of this, I decided to play a lot with the color of my film, using different blue and red filters to signify the mood of a scene. I also used a lot of quick paced shots, especially during the intro of the film, and included shaky camera work during tense moments and high/low angle over the shoulder shots to display the power dynamic in an interesting way. Also, there’s a lot of swearing, which Gen Z loves haha. Oh, there’s also not that much camera movement because I felt that if the audience was tense and uncomfortable, they would be more invested. In terms of actually getting the product to my target audience, I plan to submit my work to a number of amatuer film festivals in South Florida, including ones like SSOF and the Wellington Film Festival, since this is my first film after all. I have also uploaded my film onto Youtube and Vimeo, as these are free websites used by my target audience. 

Interviewer: Well…thank you for answering that so extensively. You said this is your first film. How did your production skills develop throughout this project?

Me: Oh my God, this was literally the hardest project I’ve ever done. I could cry just remembering the struggle of trying to come up with a good idea that I could fit into 2 minutes. You see, I’m a writer, so I kept trying to cram entire stories into what little plot an opening has. I also have no experience with editing or film at all. Honestly, I find it quite difficult to sit through entire movies without getting distracted. It annoys my family to heck and back. Fun fact, I only took my media studies class because someone told me we would be working with books and literature. I can’t remember who told me that, but I’m going to find them and send them my therapy bill. I loved this project, but it was so freaking stressful. At first, actually, I wanted to make my film about something else entirely, and the current idea was more or less a frantic last minute change that I made when someone in my class gave me the suggestion to change Celia finding poetry to Celia finding a suicide note. Since I literally had no idea what I was doing, I made sure that my first steps were research and planning. I got a bit distracted and researched a lot about color and building good characters, but when it came to actual research on shot types and camera movement, I mainly just used my media studies class notes. I am really happy with my progress though, personally, as now I have a newfound interest in movies and creating film. I also can finally relate to my friends, who are all really into this sort of stuff. 

Interviewer: Wow. 

Me: I know.

Interviewer: I wonder: if you didn't have any familiarity with the film experience, how did you integrate technologies – such as software, hardware, and online – in this project?

Me: Okay, well, lucky for me I had a basic understanding of how film worked, mostly from scraping together my other skills. I talked a bit about this in my blog, but I knew some skills in editing and writing that I used to build upon to complete this project. Like every single teenager, I knew how to use a laptop and type, so blog posts were the obvious option in terms of keeping track of my progress. I also have a folder on my desktop that I used to organize all of my documents and photos for this project. I relied heavily on Google Docs and editing apps like Over during my project as well. Oh, and I can’t forget the Internet, because without that I definitely would’ve failed this project; I mean, I did all of my research on there. My hardware wasn’t anything crazy, I just filmed on my phone, used my phone’s mic, and edited on my laptop. I made sure to go out and get a tripod, though, because I didn’t want my shots to be shaky. For my lighting, I originally had a color changing light bulb, but it made the film too dark, so I just edited the lighting in post production, which I had to teach myself, thank you very much. Luckily, my decent knowledge of editing on IMovie helped me to understand the basics of Premiere Pro, and thank God that I got it free from the school. This one is gonna sound weird but, honestly, the notes app was a life saver; I organized all of my blog posts on there. The only obstacles that I really ran into, surprisingly, was that rendering took like 50 years, and uploading took even longer. I wish someone had told me that before I sat there and waited like a fool, because- 

Interviewer: Sadly, our time is up. And we only got through four questions.

Me: Haha, yeah…sorry.

Interviewer: No, no, it’s okay. Are there any final thoughts you want to share?

Me: Yes, actually. I am so grateful to have learned so much from this project, mainly that things in my head never are going to come out the same way in real life. Truly humbling. If I were to redo this project, I would probably include more mid shots and less long shots, and I would maybe choose an easier topic to tackle than teenage mental health. Regardless, I’m proud of what I created, and I would like to give a special thanks to my actors, Santi and Nat, for helping me every step of the way. 

Interviewer: Oh my God, please just stop talking already!

https://princetonbuffer.princeton.edu/2014/06/12/the-coming-of-age-of-coming-of-age-films/

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/01/gen-z#:~:text=More%20than%20nine%20in%2010,enough%20to%20manage%20their%20stress.

https://www.mckinsey.com/industries/healthcare-systems-and-services/our-insights/addressing-the-unprecedented-behavioral-health-challenges-facing-generation-z

https://www.pbfilm.com/film-festival-in-palm-beach-county

https://www.incredibleart.org/lessons/middle/color2.htm

https://media.codes/colour-symbolic-code-c1af9a09fde8

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/coming-of-age-movies#a-brief-history-of-comingofage-movies

https://study.com/academy/lesson/coming-of-age-novel-definition-examples-quiz.html

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/05/14/on-the-cusp-of-adulthood-and-facing-an-uncertain-future-what-we-know-about-gen-z-so-far-2/

Editing Dilemma

For my opening, I am debating on whether to edit on IMovie or Premiere Pro. The thing is, I am very well versed in IMovie, but I know that Premiere Pro produces better quality work and I have been wanting to learn how to use it for a while. IMovie is also more beginner friendly (which I am), while Premiere Pro is for those who have more experience in editing. 

My current plan of action is to use IMovie for the CCR and Premiere Pro for the actual film opening. My best friend is really knowledgeable at using Premiere, so she offered to show me the basics and help me if I get stuck on anything.

Honestly, I am really worried. A lot of my film is going to rely on the editing process and if I cannot figure out how to work the program, I will probably not do well. I downloaded Premiere today to do the tutorial and it was pretty helpful, but I am going to need my friend's help with figuring out how to add the title and credits. 

I'll update you on how it goes!

Creating a CCR (Feat. My Only Remaining Braincell)

Today in class, we began discussing the Creative Critical Reflection. I'm pretty excited, as this seems like it's going to be my favorite part of the project. I love reflecting on my own work and explaining my thought process because, honestly, it makes up for any abilities that I lack. Oftentimes, my imagination overshoots my actual capabilities, and it becomes quite discouraging to present my works to people without them knowing what I was going for in the first place. By reflecting on my own work, I get the chance to explain myself and point out the tiny inner workings that may go unnoticed unless pointed out by the creator. 

Anyway, some ideas for my CCR include an interview type situation where someone off camera is asking me the questions that the rubric asks. I would probably take inspiration from Youtube interview channels, like Buzzfeed. Another idea I have is gathering my actors together to do a sort of talk-show like simulation and act like we are just discussing the film. This is the less likely idea, as they are really busy people. 

In order to show my personality, I plan to include a lot of meme/meme references to represent how I felt during certain production processes and also try to incorporate a humorous tone in the script. I can tend to be quite serious when it comes to school, so I want to lighten up a bit for this part of the project.

Give it Up for Day Two...

So, some things have changed. 

For starters, we cut out glasses from Ethan's outfit because Santi thought it made him look goofy (that was the point, but whatever).

Oh yeah, we also changed the entire setting.

We moved the film to my brother's playroom instead of a bedroom, and instead of reading a book, Ethan will now be playing at a computer. I changed the script as well to fit the scenario, which I think was good on my part, because honestly, now it sounds a lot more natural. 

Here's a clip from filming!

Clip from Day One of Filming

Here is a little video that we took while engorging on cheese cubes. It encapsulates the vibes pretty well in my opinion. 

Filming Day One!

Day one of filming: complete!

This was actually one of the most exhausting experiences of my life. A lot of my initial ideas did not work when set into play, which was very draining.

You see, this is my first ever time trying to make a film. I have never before thought about shots or angles and which would work best for the set. Also, apparently my imagination has better camera quality than my actual camera. 

Anyway, before we started filming, we made some chicken nuggets and all sat, discussing the script. Some minor changes were made, and I gave them creative freedom to change any lines to make them more natural. I also did their makeup (well, tried) and we went over final costuming changes. 

Nat and Santi getting into character!

After that, we started filming as the sky darkened. As we practiced and started setting up the room, Nat (Celia) played music and we also brought some snacks upstairs. Honestly that part was really fun. I quickly became extremely discouraged because nothing was really working out, and we had to make a lot of changes. We only completed the filming of the first 40 seconds, so we have like a minute and a half to go through.

Santi breaking character to laugh at how depressed I look

This was a good experience because now I know to lower my standards for myself instead of getting immediately frustrated. 

End of filming selfie (there is pain in my eyes LOL)

Costuming!

Presenting: Ethan Neelu!

Ethan's outfit is quite simple and almost entirely black. The pop of white is the charm on his bracelet. His makeup consists of slight eyeliner and contoured eye bags. 

Presenting: Celia Rose!

Cee's outfit is also quite simple. She originally had a black biker jacket, but I scrapped that idea because it was really bulky and covered up the necklace and most of the dress. Her pop of yellow is her dainty necklace. Her makeup consists of heavy mascara, light concealer, and a bold red lip.

Equipment and Props!

For the equipment, I am using my IPhone 12 to film, as I do not have a professional camera. 

I am also using a tripod to help with stability.

'Ethan' posed next to the tripod.

For lighting, I have a color changing light that I am using to manipulate the lighting of the room.

For the props, I have an array of different props. Ethan will be reading the book Pride and Prejudice in the beginning (although you cannot see the actual cover. He will also be wearing black headphones. 

Celia will have a mirror and be applying lipstick/mascara. 

The final prop is the letter, which will also not be seen by the camera. 

Coming Up With A Title Post!

Possible names:

Followed Her Home

Girl That You Love

Hit Me Where It Hurts

Where It Hurts

Denomination 

Bullseye, Dead End

Indignation

Provoked Indignation

Crimson Indignation

Faulty Indignation

False Indignation

This was an extremely long process that my best friend and I talked about for like thirty minutes, because we kept coming up with ridiculous names and laughing about it.

Basically, to explain the thought process, the first title we conjured up (Followed Her Home) was just a funny joke referencing the lyrics to one of the songs on my character playlist. Girl That You Love was also inspired by the same song (and is actually the title), but we figured it didn't really align with the plot, as Celia is not supposed to be a lovable character. Hit Me Where It Hurts is another song title, one that I really liked, but I thought it was too lengthy, so I tried to shorten it to Where It Hurts, but honestly that did not make any sense. 

Denomination was another kind of joke option that we came up with, because it's included in a song lyric and we both were unsure of the meaning. Bullseye, Dead End was a cool option (another song lyric) but we both felt like it had absolutely nothing to do with the opening. 

Next was Indignation. As you can see this led us down the track to our final decision (which still could change as well. Indignation was a lyric in another song, and we had no idea what it meant, so we Googled it, and it actually fit pretty well!

Even the example references a letter in it!

We both loved this title, but felt that it sounded too much like a blockbuster action movie title. So we spent the next five minutes sticking random words on the beginning and hoping they fit. I really liked Crimson Indignation, but it sounded like the name of a random horror film. False Indignation was the best option, as it could relate to how Celia felt about finding Ethan's letter.

Ta-da! False Indignation. I quite like it. Thanks for coming along for the ride!

Changed Script!!

Part 1

Coming from party

Bragging about popularity

Dissing for being shy

Part 2

Rummaging around room

Bullying for interests

Cutting off when talking to talk about self

Part 3

Do you even know who’s here?

Don’t let anyone in here cause this is embarrassing.

Yeah I got bored so I came in here.

Shut the hell up. Right now. Close your damn mouth. God. Do you understand how irresponsible, idiotic, and selfish this is? Not only are you giving up your chance at a happy life, but you’re leaving ME behind to cry for the rest of my life? Do you not care?

If I’m so selfish then just get out!

Hey, is everything okay in here?

Yeah, I was just leaving.

~~~

These were my initial notes about the script, including some ideas that I wanted to incorporate. From that, I worked on a baseline version of the script that will set as a guideline for my actors. From their input, though, I will probably adjust the script.

NEW AND FINAL SCRIPT

I made some changes to make the dialogue more natural, as I previously found in my research. In order to do so, like suggested, I cut out a lot of lines because the less the better. Additionally, I paraphrased a lot of different lines and used simpler language to make it more relatable to teens. I also included an interruption because according to my research, this allows for it to feel more realistic.  

 

Updated Film Outline

The film is going to open on two characters hanging out together in a teenager's room, with colored lights and a dark atmosphere. The blinds will be closed and the lighting of the room is initially going to be a a dark blue. One character is going to be a boy (Ethan) and the other a girl (Celia). 

Ethan is going to be sitting in a chair near the far side of the room, with Celia rummaging around the room and investigating trinkets while making backhanded remarks, concealing her mocking behind a joking tone. Ethan will not try to defend any of her attacks, instead simply laughing awkwardly and agreeing.

Celia will then come across a handwritten note, hidden under some books on the shelf. Ethan will instantly get nervous, telling her to put the note down and give it back to him. Celia, who thinks that it's some kind of elaborate joke, will dance around Ethan, reading the note to herself. As she reads the contents, though, she will stop in place, with her back towards Ethan. There will be an uncomfortable silence. 

The lights will turn to red as she turns around and angrily asks Ethan if the letter she found is a suicide note. He will uncomfortably stammer out an answer, which she will not even bother listening to.

As they go back and forth, Celia will get increasingly upset, even going as far as crying and raising her voice. As she gets more and more confrontational, she will get closer and closer to Ethan, and the shots between them are going to get tighter and tighter. The camera is going to go from stable to hand-held during this altercation as well.

As she finally backs him into a corner, she is going to knock something off of the shelf in anger and make one final proclamation. This will be Ethan's breaking point, in which he raises his voice back for the first time and snaps at her. There will be a moment of silence, and the camera will cut from Ethan's face back to Celia as she looks upset. Then, as a door opens off camera, the light on her face will slowly go from red to white. The scene will end as she turns her attention to the source of the light.

Introduction to the Characters!

Introducing: the main characters!

CELIA ROSE:

The first character is Celia Rose, aka Cee. I chose this name because it means “heavenly” and I thought it would be a good juxtaposition to her true character, which is quite emotionally immature and toxic. Also, Rose would be a good representation that she is a red-themed character. She is a white teenage girl with dark hair and eyes, a thin body, and of average height. She is confident and humorous, with a tendency to take jokes too far. She is not the main character, but the leading antagonist. She has the most lines in the film because the actress that plays her is more well versed than my main character’s actor. For her wardrobe, I want to use an array of darker colors, such as red and black, which represent her anger, passion, emotion, and immorality. There is going to be a pop of color of the necklace she wears (yellow) which represents that she is a danger to those around her due to her insecure tendencies to lash out. Her hair will be curly and wild, like her carefree personality, and her makeup will be subtle yet intense, with noticeable lipstick and eyeliner. 

PORTRAIT: 

COLOR PALETTE:

Here is this character’s color palette.

PLAYLIST: 

Here are some songs that remind me of this character.

Girl That You Love - Panic! At The Disco

Significance: The lyrics (such as “drown every sense you own, for the girl that you love, girl you loath”) symbolize that she is very good at being manipulative, so much so that even when others know she is being toxic, they do not care as long as she stays in their life.

Pity Party - Melanie Martinez

Significance: The lyrics (such as “maybe it's a cruel joke on me, whatever, whatever”) show that she is very self-pitying, even in situations where she should be sympathetic towards others. She is self-centered and has difficulty seeing past her own emotions, leading to her being inconsiderate. 

Borderline - Tame Impala

Significance: The lyrics (such as “gone a little far this time with something, how was I to know?”) represent the situation that she gets herself into in the opening, where she snaps and screams at Ethan for writing a suicide note. Although she knows she went too far, she still does not feel remorse.

Cherry Wine - grentperez

Significance: The lyrics (such as “why don't we move over to that empty space? i'll bet you twenty bucks i'll put a smile on your face”) shows the side of her that is appealing, explaining why people put up with her manipulative personality: she is fun and bubbly.

Witchy Woman - Eagles

Significance: The lyrics (such as “raven hair and ruby lips, sparks fly from her fingertips”) remind me a lot of the character and how I envision her to be. 

Needs - Verzache

Significance: The lyrics (such as “control yourself, I can tell that you don't love nobody but yourself”) remind me of her apathy toward Ethan and her inability to think of what he may have been going through while writing the letter.

Homemade Dynamite - Lorde

Significance: The lyrics (such as “I think that you might be the same as me, behave abnormally”) convey that Celia has created a somewhat idealized image of Ethan in her head, and is shocked to find that he has traits that do not align with her version of him she created in her head.

ETHAN NEELU:

The protagonist of my short film is named Ethan Neelu. I chose this name because the first name, Ethan, means “hidden strength” which I thought represented the character pretty well. Ethan is pretty soft spoken but has the ability to defend himself buried deep down. The name “Neelu” means a depressing, dark colored blue, which I also thought fit the character pretty well, as I picture him being a blue-themed character. This is a juxtaposition from Celia. He is a mixed race teenage boy with dark hair and eyes, average build, and tall stature. He is quiet and reserved, with a tendency to keep his thoughts to himself. I want his personality throughout the film to be generally kept contained, until the very end of the scene where he snaps at Celia. For his wardrobe, I want to use neutral, darker colors, such as gray, with dark blues scattered throughout. This represents his sadness and shyness. He will be wearing black accessories and glasses, as black is the color of secrecy. His pop of color will be white, to convey that his intentions are innocent and he is a good person. His hair is going to be curly yet maintained, to show that he has a strong sense of self control. His makeup will not really be noticeable, but broody. 

PORTRAIT: 

COLOR PALETTE:

Here is this character’s color palette.

PLAYLIST: 

Here are some songs that remind me of this character.

What Once Was - Her’s

Significance: The lyrics (such as “I was at the point where all I really wanted was someone, and now I'm still hanging on”) represent Ethan’s struggles with depression pretty well, as well as explains why he is still friends with Celia, someone who treats him poorly.

Young - Vacations

Significance: The lyrics (such as “didn't think I'd still be here, just to make things clear”) show that Ethan sometimes does not think straight when he makes certain decisions due to his depression, such as writing the suicide note.

YKWIM? - Yot Club

Significance: The lyrics (such as “it seems like I care too much, when I'm all alone”) convey that Ethan knows he cares more for Celia than she cares for him, and that plays a hand in fueling his depression. 

Dark Red - Steve Lacy

Significance: The lyrics (such as “something bad is 'about to happen to me, I don't know it, but I feel it coming”) represent the character’s uneasiness in the start of the scene when Celia finds the letter. 

Hit Me Where It Hurts - Caroline Polachek

Significance: The lyrics (such as “go on and hit me in the heart, hit me where it hurts”) is a good match for the scene where Ethan snaps at Celia for her toxic reaction to finding the note. 

New Person, Same Old Mistakes - Tame Impala

Significance: The lyrics (such as “I can just hear them now: how could you let us down?" represent his anxiety about what Celia thinks of him, even in situations where he should be putting himself first. 

Group Meeting!

This group meeting proved to be very, very helpful.

First of all, for my script, I learned I can use celtx. So that's pretty cool, because now I don't have to manually format all of my writing. I also got the idea to split up my name for the credits. 

Anyway, I explained to my group that I absolutely did not like my idea and had been procrastinating trying to fix the plot. Luckily, everyone in my group is really creative, so they helped me tweak the plot into something I would actually enjoy writing about.

One of my group members suggest that I change my character from writing a poem to writing a suicide note. I liked it! It added something new and dynamic to what I believed to be a pretty stale plot.

The next issue we ran into was trying to determine how the other character would even come across the note in the first place. From there, I then decided to change my idea from a character reading a poem to two characters hanging out in a room, where one comes across the other's suicide note (pressures the main character into showing them) and acts in a toxic manner, getting angry and yelling. 

Cool Group Photo :D

Rough Draft: Scene One Script!

"MAIN CHARACTER: I never really understood what it was about him that entranced me from the start. Whenever people would ask, I always pinned it on how charismatic he was; how he could light up a room with a joke. He was fun-loving and care-free, and that was good enough for me.

Looking back now, I know the real answer: I was desperate for attention, enough to disregard flags so red they would attract every bull in a fifty mile radius. Of course, I would never admit that to anyone. Not in a million years.

I know, I know: I’m kind of to blame here. But, to be fair, most naive teenagers just get their heart broken and move on after a week. I, on the other hand, got dragged through rusty nail infested mud for most of my highschool career.

When we first started talking, I felt a connection I had never felt before. Someone who truly cared about me, enough to tell me like it is. No more dancing around the truth, selling lies. I had my insecurities, and he confirmed them. As it should be. 

Or so I thought.

The first time I noticed something was off was very early on, actually. 

You see, I poured my heart and soul out in a lovely little poem. It was quite nice. And what did he do? Well… [cut to scene 2]"

That was the draft of my script! I actually do not like it at all, besides the beginning. I am planning on asking for a lot of feedback from everyone around me as I develop the script more, as I feel the tone of the script is not consistent. Is the main character trying to be funny? Sarcastic? Serious? Honestly, your guess is as good as mine. Hopefully as I ask for people's opinions, they tell me what they like and don't like so I can improve.

Storyboard Final Draft!

Y'all, my drawings aren't as bad this time! Hoorah! 

The most difficult part about this for sure was having a very clear image of what I wanted in my head and not being able to replicate it because my drawings skills are quite bad. I looked up some references but they didn't seem to help. At least it's easy to get the general gist of what I'm going for!

Bad News, Good News

The bad news? My actress for my main character cancelled for this entire weekend due to a family emergency. We are now filming the week before spring break after school and our backup dates are during spring break weekdays. 

The good news? More time to work on developing my characters and script!

Quick update on my production process: I am stressed. I have so many ideas with little idea on how I would execute them with my skill level and available equipment. I am also finding it quite difficult to settle with my idea because, personally, I am not a big fan of what I have so far.

You see, it feels incomplete. I feel like I have lost sight of the message I wanted to give through my film. There's nothing about my plot that makes me go "Wow, I actually kind of nailed this assignment." Instead, I can picture my film being average and everyone forgetting about it immediately. 

To fix how I feel about the project, I've decided I'm going to make my antagonist more manipulative instead of straightforward. I want my main character to question their intentions and fall for their words numerous times during their voiceover, even more so than before. I want the confusion that comes with being manipulated my main theme.

Storyboard - First Scene Rough Draft

Here is part of my storyboard for the upcoming portfolio project. 

I am terrible at drawing but once I finalize my ideas I will expand upon the initial paper and also draw in more detail to each image.

Meeting During Class

The entire week, I have not been able to meet often with my teacher. There have been some complications for me, as this week on both Wednesday and Friday I have been absent from school. Although there is not much that needed to be discussed, I did miss out on valuable time that I could've put towards the project. I have been struggling to find the time to indulge fully in this project to the extent that I would like. Compounded by a lack of time, I am also experiencing a lot of distress in my personal life that has thrown me off from being able to brainstorm as well as usual. Additionally, one of my actors is in the process of being transferred from one school to another and it is very difficult to find time to film. 

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. During my only meeting in class, I discussed how I felt quite stuck with the whole situation and how the topics I wanted to do were a little too difficult to portray. We also discussed how it would probably be better for me to combine two things I am interested in: writing and the portrayal of abuse. My teacher told me that my blog posts were well-written, and that all I need to improve upon is figuring out exactly what I am going for in terms of my story. This week, I hope to meet with her and discuss my outline.